


I set my mind to wandering

by honeybearbee



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/F, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-13
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-04 12:18:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeybearbee/pseuds/honeybearbee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tauriel is warned away from Legolas by Thranduil, but she's happily married. Then more stuff happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The Hobbit 2: The Dragoning isn’t out for me yet, but this fic is based on the scene where Thranduil warns Tauriel away from Legolas and I went, “She needs to turn around and be like ‘Your Highness, please’.” Because Tauriel is badass and doesn’t need a fucking “love triangle” to advance the plot. Besides she’s got a badass, hottie wife back at home with their three kids. AKA Tauriel has a hottie Elf wife and she don’t need no stupid princes. 
> 
> I thought Dwarf ages were hard, but jfc Elf ages are worse.
> 
> As I’ve said in my Dwarven fics, I’m shit with languages so I’m hoping I got the words right. ;___;
> 
> This was supposed to be a one shot but it got away from me.

Tauriel sighed as she walked into her home. She hung her bow up by the door and slipped her shoes off. She wiggled her toes, glad to be free of those horrible boots.

“Emig!” Sîdh called out as they ran towards Tauriel.

Tauriel laughed and knelt down to hug her baby. “Look at you! Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?”

“Waiting for you, emig. I need kisses!”

Tauriel gave her baby an unconvinced look. “Didn’t emel give you any?”

“I did,” said Goeolhel amusedly. “But the little úan slipped out.”

“I’m not an úan!” Sîdh cried out.

Tauriel laughed again and scooped Sîdh up. “Now to bed with you, úan.” She put Sîdh and kissed her forehead.

“Not an úan,” Sîdh mumbled sleepily.

Tauriel smiled softly and stroked Sîdh’s hair. She left the room quietly and found Goeolhel in the kitchen. She kissed her wife and sighed.

“How are the other two?” she asked.

“Fine, sorry they missed you.”

“There were some...issues.” Tauriel sighed again and leaned against Goeolhel.

“Bad day at work?” Goeolhel asked.

“The _king_ ,” Tauriel said harshly. “Accused me of leading the Prince on.”

“Legolas?” Goeolhel said with confusion. “The same one who was at our wedding and is the guardian of our children?”

“Yes.”

“I…” Goeolhel trailed off, unsure what to say.

“Then he accused me of having feelings for a Dwarf!”

“I don’t mind Dwarves. Good fighters, good drinkers.” 

Tauriel rolled her eyes then squeaked as Goeolhel pinched her side.

“Wait, which Dwarf?” Goeolhel asked as she narrowed her eyes. “The one with the tattoos or the one who hovers over his two brothers.”

“How do you know they are brothers?”

“I’m 4000 years old, my love. I know all kinds of things.”

“4015 soon.”

Goeolhel squinted at her wife. “Are you mocking me?”

“No,” Tauriel smiled seductively. “Just glad I married an older woman.”

Goeolhel pulled Tauriel against her and kissed her. When she pulled away, she said breathlessly, “You don’t answer my question.”

Tauriel snorted and replied, “The young one.”

“Bowl cut, blondie, or fair face?”

“Where do you come up with these names?”

“The guards can’t be bothered to learn Dwarven names, even though they rhyme,” Goeolhel frowned.

“It was fair face.”

Goeolhel made a face. “He isn’t anywhere near your type. Too much like Legolas.”

Tauriel chuckled. “Yes, I can assume that’s why the king thought I loved them both.”

“You care for everyone, but love only a few.”

Tauriel hugged Goeolhel and groaned. “Just take me to bed and make me forget this horrible day. I pray to the Valar that the king won’t bring this up in front of Legolas. He’ll tease me for weeks.”

“I can do that,” Goeolhel smiled. She threw Tauriel over her shoulder. Tauriel shrieked silently and slapped Goeolhel’s back.

Goeolhel laughed all the way up the stairs.

****  
The next day, Goeolhel brought Glessil, Curuon, and Sîdh to the palace. They spotted Legolas and Glessil ran up to him.

“Legolas!” she cried.

Legolas smiled widely at the family. “Tauriel will be happy to see you,” he said.

“Can we see the Dwarves?” whispered Curuon.

Legolas laughed. “Perhaps. You will have to ask Tauriel.”

“She won’t let us,” complained Glessil.

“Maybe if we are very good?” Sîdh offered.

Goeolhel’s children thought about for a second before nodding. Goeolhel closed her eyes and shook her head.

“With that, I give them to you, Legolas. I must go see the king.”

“Ah,” Legolas sighed. “Good luck with that. Those Dwarves have put him in a bad mood. I can see why he dislikes them so.”

Goeolhel shrugged. “Not all Dwarves are bad. Perhaps you’ll learn that one day.”

Legolas look disgruntled, but nodded. “I’ll make sure they don’t get lost.”

“Bye, emel!” her children cried as they left with Legolas.

Goeolhel waved. Once they were out of sight, she gathered up her dress and marched towards Thranduil’s throne room. She was a Sindar, same as the king, and she had fought beside him in many battles. Her people always forgot what a great warrior Goeolhel was until she wore this particular dress. It was given to her by Galadriel herself for service during the War against Sauron. It was silver and gold, but through it ran threads of red for all the blood Goeolhel had shed in her years. The only other Elf with such an outfit was Glorfindel. This dress alone was enough to make Elves stand aside for her to pass, which is why she wore it. Goeolhel needed to get to Thranduil quickly.

She pushed past his guards in the throne room and walked calmly up to the bottom of his throne. “Your majesty,” she nodded her head.

“Goeolhel,” Thranduil said calmly. “It’s been some time. What may I do for you?”

“I would appreciate it if you could cease any threats against my wife.”

“Your wife?” Thranduil’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“Tauriel is my wife and I won’t have you telling her off for being friendly to Legolas,” Goeolhel glared back at the king.

“I wasn’t aware you had married.”

“We have three children as well.”

“Ah.”

Goeolhel shifted slightly. “I didn’t want to tell you because you still mourn your wife.”

“I would have come to your wedding. We are friends after all,” Thranduil said, sounding hurt.

“Legolas came in your stead.”

Thranduil chuckled. “Of course my son knew.”

“Thranduil,” Goeolhel started. “Both Legolas and Tauriel have stressful, high-profile jobs. They make very few friends, since everyone they know is a subordinate. You know how that is.”

“It never stopped you.”

Goeolhel shrugged. “If you’re a prat, I’ll call you out on it, no matter who you are.”

“Yes, I remember,” Thranduil said wryly.

“That’s how we became friends,” Goeolhel smiled. 

“Fine,” Thranduil sighed. “I will leave Tauriel and Legolas alone.”

“Good.” Goeolhel smoothed down her dress. “Now, you should let those Dwarves go. Not even you could out stubborn a Dwarf.”

Thranduil’s eyes clouded over with rage. “They wish to wake the dragon.”

Goeolhel shrugged again. “Someone was going to wake him up sooner or later. Might as well be the Dwarves who want their homeland back.”

Thranduil glared at her before waving her away. “I will not discuss it.”

“Fine, you prat,” Goeolhel spat as she spun on her heel and stalked away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goeolhel meets Bilbo. Goeolhel helps Bilbo. Goeolhel gets more annoyed at Thranduil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've added some of my durin headcanon because i can

Goeolhel galred at anyone who got in her way as she left Thranduil’s throne room. She took a sharp left, pounded down the stairs and into Tauriel’s office. Her wife was sitting at her desk, finishing up some work.

“That utter...bastard!” she shouted.

Tauriel didn’t even look up from her paperwork. “The King?”

“Who else?” Goeolhel scoffed. “He should heed my advice.”

“He’s older.”

Goeolhel narrowed her eyes. “But not wiser.” She huffed and sank into a nearby chair. “Where are the children?”

“Legolas took them to gawk at the Dwarves,” Tauriel replied in disgust. She looked up at Goeolhel. “They are not caged beasts to be stared at.”

“Bah,” Goeolhel said with a wave of her hand. “The children are just curious. They’ve only heard stories of Dwarves from me and poor tales from fables. Who knows, they could even fall in love with one.”

Tauriel laughed loudly, causing some Elves walking by to stare inside her office curiously. “Can you imagine an Elf and Dwarf?”

“My grandmother used to say her sister married Durin the Deathless.”

“What?”

Goeolhel shrugged. “We could never prove it, but he did live a long time and no Dwarrowdam has ever lived that long. An Elf was only option.”

Tauriel stared at her wife in shock. “Uh…”

“I know, my brother wouldn’t talk to grandmother for a week.” Goeolhel stood and brushed her dress down. She walked over to Tauriel, tipped her head back, and kissed her. “Now, I shall take the children and wait for you at home.”

“All right. You will tell me more about your great-aunt?”

“Of course,” Goeolhel said with a smile.

****

As Goeolhel made her way down into the dungeons, her sharp ears heard a noise. It sounded like someone shuffling behind her. Goeolhel didn’t pause or slow down, she just kept walking. Halfway to the dungeons, she spoke up.

“I can hear you, you know. Elven ears are sharp and mine are sharper than most. I assume you came with the Dwarves?” she asked congenially.

There was a slight gasp, but no other noise. Goeolhel rolled her eyes.

“Come now, there’s no use hiding.” She spun around and blinked as she saw nothing but empty space. “A Wizard?”

“I’m not a Wizard!” a voice chastised her. “I’m a Hobbit!”

“An invisible Hobbit?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, well, turn back around and I shall make myself visible.”

“All right.” She did as asked, then turned back when there was a small cough. Looking down again, Goeolhel indeed saw that it was a Hobbit. “You are far from home.”

“Don’t I know it,” the Hobbit said. He folded his arms and looked cross.

Goeolhel smiled at him. “You want your Dwarrows back?”

“Yes, but they aren’t mine.”

“Well, they aren’t mine or Thranduil’s, so they must belong to you.”

The Hobbit had no answer for that and Goeolhel’s smile widened.

“What is your name? I can’t keep calling you Hobbit.”

“Ah, um, Bilbo Baggins, at your service.” He bowed slightly.

Goeolhel did a small curtsey and replied, “Goeolhel, at yours.”

“Goe–?” he asked, confusion evident on his face.

She laughed. “It is hard for many to say, since it’s a bit of an old name. Call me Go or Hel. My own comrades called me Go to Hel.”

“Why?”

“Because I sent many Orcs to their death,” Goeolhel smiled wickedly.

Bilbo gulped nervously and fiddled with his vest pocket. She watched him for a bit, before nodding.

“It’s decided then,” she said.

“What is?” Bilbo asked.

“I will help you and your Dwarves.”

“How exactly? You can’t just ask the King.”

“I tried and he was a prat. Look, I’m going to turn back around. You do your,” Goeolhel waved at a hand at Bilbo. “Whatever it is that you do to become invisible and just follow me. My children will make enough noise to cover up anything others might hear.”

“They haven’t heard me so far,” Bilbo muttered as Goeolhel turned around.

“True, but now you are approaching the members of our Guard. They are the best. No talking now.” She checked to make sure Bilbo was invisible before continuing down the stairs.

****

Goeolhel passed a few of the cells and nodded politely at the Dwarves. She paused at one Dwarf that was blond. He glared at her. _Yes, definitely a relative. Grandmother’s hair was that exact shade and she said her sister could have been her twin. I’ve also seen that glare on my own face._ She smiled kindly at the blond Dwarf before moving on. She smirked as he looked startled at her kindness.

“Legolas!” she cried out. “Where are my babies?”

“Here, emel!” Curuon shouted.

“In the cellar?”

“Yes,” Glessil said as she ran up the steps. “There’s a party tonight.”

“Oh?” Goeolhel asked in surprise.

“Yes, for the capture of the Dwarves,” Legolas said with a smirk. A few of the Dwarves shouted in Khuzdul.

Goeolhel snorted. Legolas gave her a strange look.

“They curse you and your braids, which is very serious for a Dwarf,” she replied.

“Did you really know a Dwarf, emel?” Sîdh asked. She was holding onto Curuon’s hand as they climbed the stairs.

“Oh yes, little one,” Goeolhel replied. She picked her baby up. “I’ve drank with most of them, fought by many and held a few as they died.”

“Did you avenge them?”

“Yes.” She kissed Sîdh and smiled as her baby giggled. “Is Galion down there?” she asked Legolas.

“Yes,” he nodded.

“I need to speak to him for a minute. Children, stay here and leave the poor Dwarrow alone. It’s bad enough that Thranduil stuck them in here, they don’t need to be pestered.”

“Yes, emel,” they chorused.

Goeolhel nodded and walked down into the cellar. She heard the tell-tale sign of Bilbo following her.

“Galion,” she said to a dark-haired Elf near the wine barrels.

“Goeolhel,” he bowed. “How may I help you?”

“I hear there is going to be a party. Do you need any wine from my stores?”

Galion let out a deep sigh. “That would be wonderful. We are running low.” He waved at some empty barrels.

“You kids these days just drink too much,” Goeolhel joked.

Galion laughed. “I know, but the King is very pleased.”

“Hmph,” Goeolhel huffed. “I’ll tell my staff to send you eight barrels.”

“Oh, thank you,” Galion said as he bowed again.

“See you at the party then!” she said. She waved to Galion as she left. “Do with that what you will, Master Baggins,” she whispered. Goeolhel felt a slight tug on her dress and knew that Bilbo got the message. It was up to the Hobbit now.

****

“Emel, look!” Sîdh exclaimed, waving a toy around. They were walking home after leaving the palace. Goeolhel hoped that Bilbo was able to free his Dwarves.

“Where did you get that?” Goeolhel asked.

“The Dwarrow with the axe in his head gave it to Sîdh,” Glessil said. “He was very nice, but could only speak Khuzdul.”

“Ah, I see. Did you say thank you?”

Sîdh nodded. “I even said it i Khuzdul, like you taught us. They seem very surprised.”

Goeolhel laughed, picked Sîdh up, and swung her around. “Good. Remember children, always keep everyone off balance. It makes life much more interesting.”

****

It was late that night when Tauriel came home. She made a lot of noise and Goeolhel sat up, rubbing at her eyes.

“What is it?” she asked.

“The Dwarves have escaped,” Tauriel said angrily. “And the King has told me to track them down.”

“In the middle of the night?”

“It’s nearing dawn.”

“Who accompanies you?” Goeolhel got out of bed and pulled Tauriel to her.

Tauriel sighed and rested her head on her wife’s shoulder. “Legolas and the rest of the Guard.”

“For thirteen Dwarrows?”

“The King. He…” Tauriel trailed off, unable to say anything against her King.

“What? He what?” Goeolhel pressed.

“I don’t think he is in his right mind,” Tauriel whispered finally.

“Right. Okay. I’ll talk to him.”

“You might make it worse.”

“Hmph,” Goeolhel snorted. “I’ve faced worse. Now hurry.”

“The children?”

“I’ll wake Glessil and she can be head of the household for the day.”

Tauriel laughed lightly. “It will go to her head.”

“She is 150, she has to learn sometime.” Goeolhel kissed Tauriel and shoved her out the bedroom door. “Go, before Legolas arrives.”

Tauriel nodded, kissed Goeolhel once more, and dashed down the stairs and out of the house. Goeolhel watched her wife go, then rolled her neck and shoulders. It was time to talk to a king.


	3. Chapter 3

“And where, pray tell is my son?” Thranduil snarled to the guards that surrounded his throne. They had come back without Dwarves, but with news of Orcs.

Goeolhel had been called into see him because Tauriel was missing along with Legolas. She yawned and picked at a bit of nail that was broken.

“We don’t know,” one guard hesitated.

“You don’t know!” Thranduil shouted. 

The guards shrunk back and Goeolhel rolled her eyes.

“Oh, please,” she said loudly. 

Everyone turned to look at her. She raised an eyebrow and the guards filed out of the room, leaving her and Thranduil alone.

“You know where they went?” he questioned her as he stepped down from his throne.

“ _You_ know where they went,” she shot back.

“The Dwarves,” he hissed.

“Yes, and the Dragon. Do you think once awakened, Smaug will stop at Laketown? The wood is made of highly flammable material after all.”

“I would have helped!” He advanced on her, but Goeolhel held her ground. She didn’t even blink when he got into her face.

“Oh, for jewels? Boring.” Goeolhel sniffed slightly. “I prefer the handmade things my children make me. You used to.”

Thranduil reeled as if struck. “Those gems…” He turned his back to her and clenched his fists.

“Yes, I know. Bor-ing,” she repeated. “Your forest is sick and tainted and you do nothing.”

“I do what I can.”

Goeolhel laughed dully. Then she moved quicker than most could see and slid in front of Thranduil. “You _know_ where the sickness comes from,” she sneered. “And yet, you do nothing. The Lady asked for help and you didn’t even bother to reply.”

“How do you know that?” Thranduil asked curiously.

Goeolhel raised an eyebrow mockingly. “Who else would she ask to lead into Dol Guldur after you turned her down?”

“Did you say yes?”

“No. I said I would wait for my king to see sense.”

Thranduil sighed. He rubbed at his face, showing his age for the first time. He walked slowly up the steps to his throne and sat down. “Do I help the Dwarves or stop the sickness?”

“You can do both. You have the army. Your people would follow you into Mandos and back,” Goeolhel urged.

“Where will you go?”

“With you, you moron. My wife and your son can look after themselves. And,” Goeolhel smirked wickedly. “You need all the help you can get, you bat.”

Thranduil chuckled. He turned to her and asked, “How did you not hear the burglar?”

“Who said I didn’t?”

Thranduil stared at Goeolhel for sometime before laughing loudly.

****

Goeolhel took a deep breath and wiped at her face. Her armor stood out among all the dead bodies, but she was determined that no Dwarrow stay out. All the dead Elves and Men had already been taken care of, however the Dwarves were few in number, and had no help to give respects to their dead. Tauriel was trying to help, but was limping around, as an Orc arrow had pierced her thigh. Goeolhel shook her head and bent down again to gently lift a young Dwarf body.

“You don’t need to,” a gruff voice said from behind her. She turned and saw an overly tall, tattooed Dwarf.

“I want to,” she said calmly. “He deserves it.”

The Dwarf grunted and picked up the weapons that were next to the body. “Dwalin, son of Fundin.”

“Goeolhel. I knew Fundin. I heard he died at Moria.”

Dwalin blinked up at her. “Yes. I think he spoke of you.”

“I’m surprised he could remember me,” Goeolhel smirked. “He got very drunk most of the time we were together.”

Dwalin snorted. He didn’t talk, but Goeolhel didn’t need him too. Together they found more bodies to move away from dead Orcs.

“How is the King and his family?” she asked as they took a break. They sat down next to a healing tent and sipped some water.

Dwalin shrugged. “Oin says the boys will be okay after a time. Fili lost an eye and will limp around for sometime. Kili broke his left arm and hand, but most of his injuries on his back, from the arrows. Oin’s not so sure about Thorin, Azog really hammered into him.” 

“And Bilbo?”

Dwalin looked at her strangely, but Goeolhel just smiled. “He’s fine. A nasty bruise on his head, but fine.”

“Did they reconcile?”

“How do you know this?”

“Bilbo Baggins is a good friend of mine!”

“Hmph,” Dwalin snorted. “Thorin, the damn fool, called in Bilbo to apologize. He took back everything, even the banishment.”

“That’s good.”

“He only did because he thinks he’s going to die!” Dwalin shouted.

“He could.”

“Everyone could die! But he’s giving up without a fight.” Dwalin scowled and crossed his arms.

Goeolhel hummed. Before she could say anything a young Dwarf darted up to them and flung himself at Dwalin.

“Dwalin!” he cried.

“Ori,” Dwalin said soothingly, running a hand down Ori’s back.

Goeolhel smiled. “What a lovely husband you have Dwalin.”

Dwalin turned bright red. “He’s not my husband,” he muttered.

“Not yet!” Ori exclaimed and pulled back. “Dori gave his permission so as soon as the King is better, he can marry us!”

“Really?” Dwalin smiled. He stood, still holding Ori, and spun in a circle.

“I am happy for you,” Goeolhel said. She patted Dwalin on the shoulder. “If you’ll excuse me.”

As she got up, they didn’t seem to hear her. “I’m definitely gonna find my wife after this,” she murmured as she crossed the sea of tents. She saw Tauriel go into a big tent and assumed the Dwarf Princes were in there. “Which means the big one in the back is the Kings.” She nodded at Legolas, Gandalf, and few others as she made her way to the back. She swept into the tent with a cheery, “Hello.”

The King cast a quick glance at her, then looked away. “Another Elf,” Thorin said derisively. “Out with you.”

“You’re not my king,” Goeolhel smiled as she sat down in a chair next to Thorin’s bed. “Anyway, we have good healers. That Oin picks up things quickly. Besides, my wife saved your nephew.”

“...Wife?”

“Tauriel. How was it facing down a Dragon? I haven’t done so since I was 100.”

Thorin turned back to her with a frown. “What?”

“Thranduil and I faced down a few Dragons. And other things too. Anyway, Dwalin tells me, you’ve given up.”

“I’m dying.”

“Says who?”

“Me,” Thorin growled.

“La-ti-da,” Goeolhel sang mockingly. She reached over and pulled down Thorin’s blankets, smacking his hands away. She poked at his wounds, then hummed. “Smashed ribs, bleeding into the lungs, and a broken arm, fingers to shoulder. That would kill a lesser Dwarf.” She covered him back up and touched his forehead.

Thorin closed his eyes and took a rattling breath. The next breath was smooth and even. “What did you do?” he rasped.

“Did you know that older Elves, such as myself, can give away some of their life? I did that for you.”

“Why?” Thorin asked with suspicion.

Goeolhel laughed, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “Why, don’t you know?”

Thorin shook his head.

“We’re related!”

****

Thorin’s roar of outrage could be heard across the whole of the camp. It was soon followed by a loud and hearty laugh.

Tauriel snorted from her seat next to Kili. He looked at his brother, who shrugged and then he gave Tauriel a strange look.

“My wife is antagonizing your uncle.”

Fili and Kili laughed along with her. Then Fili stopped and looked at her in surprise. “Wait, wife?”

Tauriel kept laughing as Kili tried to explain things to Fili.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not totally thrilled with this ending, but anything else just kept making it go on and on. I might change it later.

“Cousin,” Goeolhel cried out as she swept Thorin up in a hug.

The King had gotten better, much to the healers shock, but neither her nor Goeolhel said what she did for Thorin. He was making his way through the tents and down to see his nephews and friends.

“We are _not_ related,” Thorin hissed as he pulled away from her. 

From next to Thorin, Bilbo chuckled. “You did say Durin I lived for a very long time. That could be matched by only an Elf.”

“Exactly!” Goeolhel beamed at the Hobbit.   
Thorin glared at both of them and marched away towards Balin and Gandalf.

“Have you two made up?” she asked quietly.

“Yes,” Bilbo nodded. “I’ll be leaving soon, but I’ll be able to visit.”

“Leaving?” Goeolhel frowned. “But you like it here.”

“I do,” Bilbo said. He looked around the tents and then at the mountain. “I don’t belong.”

“Nonsense.” As they approached the others, she said, “You can live with Tauriel and I. My children would love you.”

Thorin scowled at Goeolhel. “If Bilbo ever comes to visit, he will stay in Erebor.”

Goeolhel stuck her tongue out at Thorin. Gandalf hid his chuckle behind a cough, while Balin laughed outright.

“Goeolhel, really,” Tauriel chided as she limped out of Fili and Kili’s tent. 

Goeolhel went over and helped her wife stand. Kili helped Fili out of the tent. They both sighed as the sunlight hit their faces. 

Tauriel leaned against Goeolhel. “Stop picking on your cousin.”

“He’s younger than me. I can. Besides, Bilbo can stay with us.”

“Of course he can. King Thranduil is already enamored of him.”

Thorin’s scowl became fiercer. Goeolhel smirked openly at him.

“Leaving?” Fili and Kili shouted together. They looked at Bilbo sadly. 

“But, uncle lifted the banishment,” Fili started. 

“Didn’t you?” Kili finished.

“I did. Bilbo feels he must leave.”

“My home,” Bilbo began.

“Ah, well,” Gandalf interrupted. “About that.”

“I still have a home, don’t I?”

“Yes, but the snow will gather soon. We could only make it to Rivendell.”

“See? You might as well stay here then,” Goeolhel said happily. “Come stay with us.”

Thorin continued to say nothing, but his shoulders were up by his ears now. Balin shared a look with Goeolhel and sighed. Bilbo was glaring up at Gandalf, ignoring Fili and Kili pestering him.

“Stop being a matchmaker,” Tauriel whispered into Goeolhel ear.

Goeolhel shivered and pulled Tauriel closer. “I will when I stop being so happy.”

“So never?”

Goeolhel smiled. “Exactly.”

“Now, Gandalf,” Bilbo launched into a rant, but he was cut off as Thorin stumbled into him. Goeolhel looked at Balin, who whistled innocently. She winked at him and watched as Thorin awkwardly declared his love for Bilbo. The Hobbit turned a bright red and mumbled back his affection. They kissed lightly before Thorin pulled Bilbo in for a deeper kiss.

The whole camp cheered as they pulled away.

“So many weddings to go to,” Goeolhel sighed.

Thorin turned to her with a scowl and said, “You aren’t invited.”

“Of course they are,” Balin said with a large grin. “They’re family.”

Tauriel laughed at Thorin’s expression. Goeolhel held her steady and kissed the side of her head.

“First we are going home. I miss my children.”

“Agreed,” Tauriel said.

“At least now Thranduil will stop trying to say you need to stay away from Legolas,” Goeolhel said lightly. She looked at her wife, who was biting her lip so as not to laugh. “Oh, go on, he isn’t even here right now.”

Tauriel burst out laughing again. She had to hang onto Goeolhel as she cried with laughter. 

“I’m glad I have you,” Tauriel said as she wiped at her eyes.

“I’m glad to have you.”

Tauriel kissed Goeolhel deeply. They hugged each other and watched the rest of the camp burst into activity.

**Author's Note:**

> Goeolhel (I imagine Gina Torres)- Dreadful/Terrifying Girl Woman (4000 yrs old) because she’s was a warrior & now not so much but still can be fucking fierce
> 
> Glessil- Joy (150 yrs old) (about 22) their daughter
> 
> Curuon- Skilled One (110 years old) (about 15) their son
> 
> Sîdh- Peace (16 yrs old) (about 4) their baby
> 
> I’ve made Elven coming of age 250. I found there were genderless names, so I’ve also decided that at 100 Elves pick a gender, if they want.
> 
> And yes, I know it’s called The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. It was a joke hahahahaha….no? Okay.
> 
> emig- little mother  
> emel- mother  
> úan- monster


End file.
